He was lost to me now
In time and distance
A memory I desperately
Wanted to relive
Or maybe just a dream
Dancing on the edge
Of my heart
I closed my eyes
And heard the sound of his voice
Calling my name
It was all so vivid
I couldn’t tell
Where imaginary began
And reality ended
writing
Deep Breaths
Once you accept
That not everyone
Will be happy
In their life
You begin
To be able
To breathe
Again
Star Child
I am a child of the stars
My destiny is written
In the shadows of the universe
Where rainbows of light
Burst through the air
Arcs of hopes and dreams
Ready to alight
On a distant moon
In a far-off galaxy
Sky Castles
I build castles in the sky
To escape the prison walls
Around my heart
That years of pain
And fear and neglect
Have fixed into place
Mortar and stone
Cemented with tears
An impenetrable fortress
Leaving me safe but alone
Forlorn
Shades of gray
Tinge my hollow eyes
My heart cries bitter tears
That refuse to bleed
And there is an
Overwhelming emptiness
Where the sad used to be
Sleeping Ghosts
I softly whispered, “Where did you go?”
To the sleeping ghost of a man beside me.
He was all but gone from me now.
The only thing left was the actual goodbye.
He had been leaving for a while now,
It was a long time coming.
Still, I was wholly unprepared
For the ache in my heart
And the hole in my life
That had yet to appear
But had already consumed me.
For now, I would lie next to him
And welcome his warmth.
And take this one last chance
To remember all that might have been.
House of Cards
He offered me a house
Of cards
Built on false hopes
And empty promises
Sweet words of
Dreams come true
Offered on a
Cloud lined with silver plate
Dream World
Tell me your secrets and I’ll tell you mine.
Whispered regrets
Broken promises
Untamed dreams
Nothing is sacred, and nothing is real.
Empty Promises
Broken heart
Hollow words
Empty promises
Lies turned into good intentions
Are still lies
Cutting deep
Into my soul
Fallen Savior
I tried to ease your pain and
You turned instead to the bottle or
To the bed of a dozen nameless,
Faceless women who could do
Little to soothe the parts of you
That needed healing
Whispered Dreams
I whisper my dreams to the night air
Carried away to a distant star
They dance in the universe
And rain down on me
Blessings from the heavens
Silent
Alone. I sat in the dark stillness, silent tears threatening to betray my broken heart. New beginnings only sound shiny and cheerful in greeting cards and inspirational posters. My future didn’t look bright, just lonely and sad.
Thief of Hearts
She woke in a dark room
The silhouette of a familiar stranger tangled in the sheets beside her
She slipped quietly out of the bed and dressed quickly
Eager to leave before he stirred
Like a thief stealing away without a trace
Into the early morning dawn
The promises of a new day on the horizon
She was the thief of her own heart
Never allowing herself close enough to anyone
To risk the loss
Love Song
He sat on a stool in the center of the smoky stage, soft lights focused on his face, his hands, his guitar. The sleeves of his worn plaid shirt were rolled up, revealing his tanned forearms, strong hands with calloused fingers gently strumming a beautiful melody. His chestnut hair was longer now, falling in soft layers that framed his face, then curling into waves at the nape. His eyes were closed, fringed with long, dark lashes. Rough stubble darkened his face, giving him a disheveled, sexy appeal. As he sang, his lips formed that familiar heart shape when they pursed together, and unleashed a deep croon when they came apart. The effect was altogether sensual.
I sat motionless on my bar stool, not daring to move – not wanting to leave this moment. He sang for me. In his deep whiskey siren song, I heard the pleas of his heart and the promises from his soul. I succumbed to the overwhelming emotions coursing through me and tasted the salty relief that slid down my cheeks. As he asked, my heart had listened and his song had moved me to tears. For so long I had questioned his intentions and his motivations. Life had beaten him down, broken his spirit. I wondered if the past would always haunt him. While he wandered and chased his dream, I hoped that he would realize his dream was waiting for him to come home.
That night my cowboy sang his song for me. His words touched my soul. And I finally saw forever in his eyes.
The Cowboy Series
Whiskey Siren Song The Return My Forever Man Midnight Cowboy Cowboy’s Delight Reunion Listen With Your Heart
A Million Pieces
His suitcase lay on the bed, clothes thrown in haphazardly. I sat perched on the edge of the mattress, fidgeting with the pillows. Hugging his to my chest, I softly inhaled and savored his soapy smell. I peered up at him and memorized his face so I could pull it from my mind later, when I was alone and sad and looking for comfort.
Bright cornflower blue eyes with soft lines at the corners that crinkled when he smiled. Plump, pink lips that easily curved into the shape of a heart. Chestnut brown hair, short and spiky on top and curling into longer waves at the nape. I closed my eyes and imagined that face hovering near mine, hearing his deep, whiskey voice whisper my name just before his lips claimed mine. A single tear slid down my cheek and I quickly brushed it away before he noticed.
Finally, bags packed, it was time to say good-bye. “I’ll always love you.” I said. He only nodded and my heart broke into a million pieces all over again.
Love in the Ruins
Tears laced with betrayal leaked from my eyes
My shattered heart oozed crimson regret
My soul was consumed with fiery flames of jealous rage
The broken bonds of love lay scattered in the ruins.
Eastern Horizon
I climbed onto the ferry boat in the early morning hours, before the sun had a chance to peek through the clouds hanging low on the eastern horizon. I felt the ship lurch beneath my feet. The boat felt as unsteady as my nerves. I was leaving him for good this time. I’d been here before, heart shattered and faith destroyed. It was the last time I would let him make me feel this way. I let the cool ocean breeze wash over me as I left my broken life behind me. Beams of sunlight finally broke through the clouds and warmed my face, signaling a bright new beginning.
Sodden Regret
I sat curled up on the shower floor –
The darkness broken only by the faint light
From a crack in the door –
Until the warm water turned from cool to cold.
There were still pieces of sadness and shame
Clinging to my skin as I reluctantly stood and
Turned the faucet off, my body dripping regret,
And grabbed a towel.
A Choice
I think I would rather be alone.
Alone is painful.
Alone is empty.
Alone is hollow and desolate and endless.
But not alone and hiding who you are is exhausting.
And not alone and pitied by those who know is shameful and humiliating.
Yes ~ I think I would rather be alone.
Disconnect
She could count her friends on . . . well, she didn’t even need fingers. She was certain the people she knew LIKED her, but the late-night phone call on a Saturday night friend? That she didn’t have.
Do you really wonder why people leap to their deaths? It’s because in a world of 8 billion people, they can’t make a real connection to a single soul. And it’s not their fault. And it’s not your fault either. Not really. On this supercharged, high-pressure, success-driven, always plugged-in highway, some people never quite master the rules of the road – mere passengers in life. And, in their quest for the best, the ones in the fast lane drive right on by without a glance in their rear-view mirror. Each passenger on his own path, each driver worried about her own destination. Neither giving a thought to the basic and indispensable humanity underneath it all.
So, she sits alone every Saturday night. She stopped listening for the phone to ring a long time ago. And she always knows the location of the nearest bridge. It gives her a strange sort of comfort.
A Bad Fiction Novel
Just ahead, she saw the alley in the sunlight. If she could make it she would be safe. Her heart pounded and she felt the package tucked inside her sweater. Father Daniel had trusted her and she couldn’t let him down. She heard footsteps behind her but didn’t turn to look. Father Daniel said if she could make it to the Cathedral, a Friar would be waiting to take possession of the package. Suddenly she felt like she was in a bad novel. She stepped into the sunlight and turned right. Hopefully her story had a happy ending.
Lucky Charm?
PHOTO PROMPT © Ted Strutz
Thank you to Rochelle Wisoff-Fields for hosting Friday Fictioneers. If you’d like to participate click here for more information.
Lucky Charm?
“There’s a hurricane coming. You should stay home.” He stared at the darkened sky, inky black in the distance.
“This interview is huge. I can’t miss it. And I have my lucky charm.” She jangled the bracelet he’d given her for their anniversary. “Besides, they won’t run the ferry if it’s not safe.” She kissed him softly, sweetly. “I’ll be fine. Call you tomorrow.”
~ ~ ~ ~
Turning on the morning news, his coffee mug fell and shattered, hot liquid rivulets snaking across the tile floor when he saw the lead story.
FERRYBOAT CAPSIZES – NO SURVIVORS
The Loop of Grace
I’m not a particularly religious person. But I do have faith. And I believe in the basics of humanity, that everyone – despite our religious differences, despite our ethnic differences, despite the many other differences that drive us apart – has the capacity for grace. Father Robert Barron describes The Loop of Grace: “The more we give back to God, the more we get, and then we must give that back again, so as to get even more in return. This is the loop of grace.” I believe this has a more practical application in these troubled times. Substitute “others” for “God”. See how much your life changes. See how much you change the world.
The In Between
I do not meddle in affairs of the head.
I prefer to dwell in the land of the dead.
The murky place ‘tween wake and dream,
Where truth and lies, love and hate all teem.
Eccedentesiast
My life is a lie
I am a façade
Peel back the layers and you will find hollow emptiness
No core, no seed, no evidence of any being
Without the masks I’ve carefully crafted for myself, I am . . . not
A Writer’s Life
In my mind, on my page, I can create a world where pain does not exist. Fairy tale endings do occur, Cinderella meets her Prince, the shoe fits, the fates align to create destiny. After all, everyone deserves a happy ever after.
∞
Sad souls speak no words.
Reunited
© C E Ayr
Sophie pushed through the crowded terminal. She had to make this flight. In ten minutes the doors would close. She picked up her pace and prayed she didn’t clip anyone with her rolling carry-on bag.
She thought back to their conversation the night before. She and Nate had a nasty fight and she’d said some awful things. The kind of things you can’t un-say. She’d tried to call him back to apologize but all twenty calls had gone straight to voicemail. She’d done the only sane thing she could think of – booked the first flight to Boston. Sane is in the eye of the beholder.
Downtown traffic was heavier than usual and she was close to missing her flight. Just ahead in the crowd she saw a pocket open and she rushed forward, hoping to move past the lollygaggers. She stopped abruptly when she saw it – the statue of the lovers, reunited and locked in a passionate embrace.
She thought of Nate and imagined him holding her in just that same way. Kissing her and telling her all was forgiven. A wistful smile crossed her lips and she moved again with renewed energy toward Gate 47A. Toward her future.
Lilies
A Short Story
Lucas walked in the door with a smile on his face carrying a large bouquet of white and pink lilies, the fragrance of the blooms tickling his nose. They were Sabrina’s favorites. “Good morning sweetheart. I decided to surprise you and drop in early. Beautiful flowers for a beautiful lady.”
Heart’s Keeper
Empty hearts beat loud
A beacon seeking something
To fill their hollow walls.
Susan Jarreau - Of Dreams and Disasters 